I finished the piece without a flaw and managed a sigh of relief as I lowered the bow and slowly opened my eyes again. I felt calm for the short time it took me to replace my violin in its case with the bow and seat myself at the picnic table facing the entrance to the gardens rather than the three paths going deeper inside. After a couple of minutes of silence, I heard rustling behind me. It took quite an effort on my part not to groan in irritation once I saw Dorian James round the table with a piece of the Bleeding Heart vine in his hand. The arrogant smirk he usually wore on his lips was gone while he studied the bloom in his hand.
“What do you want now, Dorian?” The young man was handsome, and I couldn’t turn a corner without finding some group of girls gossiping about the strawberry-blonde hair that framed his slightly tanned face perfectly and set off his pretty aqua eyes to make them even more stunning than they already were.
“What do you mean, Elya? I was only admiring this trimming.” I rolled my hazel eyes at him and leaned back against the side of the picnic table, crossing my right leg over my knee in the manner I had learned so as not to flash my underwear at the gentleman standing before me. He glanced over at me and the arrogant smirk quickly found its place once again. I just knew that if he would stop using that façade to protect himself from being used for his money, he might actually find a decent girl, but I didn’t really have the right to give him advice with his love life when I was having my own problems in that area.
“You usually have an issue when you come to see me. However, if you would stop that charade you’ve always got going on, you wouldn’t need to use me as your psychologist, which is ironic in and of itself considering I have more problems than you ever will.” He looked down at me quizzically before leaning down and offering me the Bleeding Heart he held in his hand. The gods were really cruel today, it seemed…
“And what charade is that?” I rolled my eyes again and was surprised they didn’t roll right out of my head, but I took the flower regardless and looked it over carefully in my hands before I answered the young man.
“The one that makes you look like a total ass in front of everyone even though you and I both know that isn’t the type of person you are.” I looked back up into his face, of which was a lot closer to mine than I had thought it was at first, and studied those lips that could barely hold on to his smirk. “You know a smile works wonders on a girl when it’s coming from you, Dorian.” I smoothed his lips straight and pushed his face back so that he wasn’t so close. I was a bit surprised when he sank to his knees in his suit, however, which made me uncross my legs and lean forward to make sure he wasn’t feeling sick. It was a reflex I couldn’t remember starting. He looked up at me and smiled sadly, making his already handsome face all the more so.
If I hadn’t grown up with him, I might have considered the betrothal his parents had tried for, first, when I was born and, again, when I was three. My parents had even told them to wait until I was older, but, when they had died, Dorian’s parents had stopped pushing the issue. I was never told why, but I assumed it was their way of being nice.
Dorian rested his head in my lap, which surprised me a bit. He had never done this when we were somewhere people could stumble upon us and get the wrong impression. I couldn’t imagine what could be bothering him so much that he would be so careless like this, but that thought didn’t stop me from stroking his hair and trying to soothe him, setting the flower beside me on the bench as I did.
“I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Elya…” That made two of us… “You know who Devika Logan is, don’t you?” I was a bit surprised by the name for a second and I found I couldn’t respond until I took a breath from my inhaler.
“Devika Logan… You mean sweet, little Devi who hasn’t spoken a word to more than a few people since she got here a few weeks ago? How do you know her?” I had met Devika on her first day only because she was a music major and her teachers had thought she would do well if I showed her around the school. She had been so quiet that it bordered on awkward, but she had the sweetest aura about her that I couldn’t stop myself from liking her. The next week had been filled with my watching her in case she needed help with something and I had quickly discovered that most people didn’t notice the shy, young girl, who was barely eighteen, as she wandered the halls with her head down. She was also quite light on her feet, though that didn’t surprise me all that much, since she was so small and petite. She was probably used to dodging people and weaving in and out of the crowds.
“I bumped into her this morning…”
“You didn’t put on your act with her, did you?” I could have smacked him, but I waited to hear the rest of the story before I called the male an idiot or not.
“I did at first, yes. I told her she had to watch where she was going, but she only nodded and muttered apologies to me as if it had really been her fault. When I looked up at her, my artificial attitude faltered a bit.” I nodded in understanding. Devi was an albino and, as far as I could remember, Dorian had never once met someone like that.
“You didn’t stare and make her uncomfortable, did you?” He was silent, answering my question easily enough. “Dorian, how could you? Devi is the most adorable, little thing, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like a sideshow attraction. You should know better!” He flinched at my tone, and I quickly realized that he already felt terrible over it.
“I didn’t mean to. I realized the mistake when her pretty face turned pink and she shrank back and quickly took her book from me. She left down the hall so fast that she bumped into a group of my followers who had been watching us, which made her drop her books again.” Dorian pressed his face into my lap as if that would make the memory nonexistent. His followers were only a bunch of girls who had taken a liking to him at some point in our school lives, but they were obsessed rather than in love with him the way they claimed. They even pitched fits every time a girl so much as looked at Dorian the wrong way. He had hoped looking arrogant and pompous would halt their idiocy, but it hadn’t worked out the way he had hoped.
“What did they do, Dorian? More importantly, what did you do?” He was quiet a little longer before turned his head to the side again so he could speak clearly.
“They started to make fun of her. It reminded me of high school. You remember that, I’m sure.” I did remember, but it had been me rather than someone else getting made fun of because the other girls felt threatened by my “relationship” with Dorian. Luckily, even with my asthma, I had been able to stand up for myself until Dorian had gotten to me to help me out of the situation. “One of them started to push at her and by the end of it, Devika had fallen to the ground amidst her things. I barely got their in time before the girls began stepping on her books and laughing at her. Elya, I’ve never, not once, felt so angry at someone than I did when I saw those girls being cruel to Devika. Don’t get me wrong; I was angry back in high school when it happened to you, as well, but it was different when it was Devika.” I couldn’t stop the smile that found its way to my lips. “The girls ran off once they saw me coming, but Devika was sniffling and trying not to cry and… my blood began to boil. The thought that ‘if those girls had been boys, I would have killed them’ crossed my mind when I saw that girl’s tear-stained face, Elya!” I felt giddy when I heard him say such a thing. I didn’t want to jump the gun and instantly call his feelings toward Devika love, but I had heard him say nothing to make me think otherwise. “I helped her pick up her things, but she ran off again so quickly that I couldn’t get the chance to apologize for staring at her.” Dorian raised his head, his princely face slightly pink. He looked up at me and hesitated before he continued speaking. “Elya, why does my chest hurt when I think about it? I don’t even know this girl; why am I being so protective of her?”
“Honestly, I think you instinctively like her. You should try talking to her more as yourself, though.” I pinched his cheeks to tease him. “You shouldn’t let this pretty face be wasted on one of your followers.” He only chuckled and pushed my hands away before he moved to his feet and dusted off his trousers. There were a few grass stains at his knees that he ignored while he fixed his tie about his neck. “Do you have any more appointments to deal with today?”
“Luckily, I don’t. I’ll simply have to sneak into the house and change clothes before my mother sees me and throws a fit.” Dorian ran his hand through his hair and replaced the arrogant smirk on his face, bowing to me just to make me laugh, which it did manage to do. I was rather grateful for it, too, though he could have left out the part where he took my chin into his hand and leaned close to my face until our noses were nearly touching. “You should play something on your violin for me, my lovely. Show me just how deep your love for me flows through your music.” I trembled in disgust and shoved at the man’s chest to get him away, taking a quick breath from my inhaler quickly afterward.
“Don’t do that! That horrible arrogant tone creeps me out when it comes from your mouth and tries to flirt with me!” He only chuckled and waved as he began to walk away toward the entrance to the gardens, pocketing his hands just before he disappeared through the trees. I couldn’t help but smile again as I sat there a bit longer and picked up the Bleeding Heart bloom I had set down beside me.
Maybe Dorian felt a similar pain that I did if he associated it with the Bleeding Heart. He may not have known flowers the way I did, but I had taught him enough in our years to help him know what some of the more odd looking flowers were named. The Bleeding Heart vine was one of them, though it had been when we were much younger.
However, Dorian and I were a part of two very different sets of circumstances. Neither of us knew anything about love, but Dorian could at least see if it really was love he was feeling by speaking with Devika and getting to know her better, showing her his real self rather than putting on his act the way he did for his followers to keep any new ones from forming, though there were the odd group of girls who liked him despite his arrogant façade. Unfortunately for me, Eric had made his decision and I hadn’t known better to fight him because he had made me believe he didn’t truly love me for just long enough.
I cursed under my breath and moved to my feet, absentmindedly dusting off the skirt of my dress while I glanced about the clearing for a moment. I had felt Eric’s absence several times since I had left, but now was far worse. Listening to Dorian talk about how confused he was by the feelings Devika had stirred made me think about how confused I was by Eric and his love for me. Damn Dorian for that, but I damned myself so much more for leaving Eric in the first place, for not allowing myself to discover why his feelings toward me were so strong… Selfishly, I couldn’t help but think that if I had stayed and learned more about him that I might have learned why I felt like this when I was now free from that compound to live my life as I pleased the way I had ever since I was sixteen.
I placed the bloom on the table and gathered my things. I was starting to think I should ask Louis if I could see Eric, maybe just ask about how he was doing. Maybe if Louis told me Eric wasn’t acting any differently from the way he normally acted, I might be able to stop thinking about him myself. The mere thought made my chest hurt and tears well in my eyes… Damn that horrible Frenchman!
I cursed again and walked back toward the entrance to go to my next class. I no longer cared how much time I had left before it started. I would just sit there until it began if I had to. Anything would be better than staying where I was and continuing to think about things that would only make my heart ache and my mind scream curses at me.